Given that my non- maternity leave life is busy and doesn’t leave much time to think (as an assistant head in a secondary school) I am surprised that I don’t mind the relatively mundane tasks of babyhood.
The cleaning of the bottles, the sterilising, the nappy changes, the several loads of washing and the pegging up of clothes and folding away. I am almost enjoying these mundane, repetitive tasks that are done several times a day.
I think it’s because they signal a chance to breath, to think, to take a moment. They are not brain-taxing or stressful like my every day world and they are like a little check list in my head that I can mentally cross off as I walk through the house.
I think it’s because I know it can’t last forever. I know that the relatively calm and still of our little lives at the moment will have to come to an end at some point soon.
My work declined my request to return part time.
This is not in itself surprising but leaves with a pickle of a dilemma. I would happily be a SAHM but this doesn’t work financially. Trying to find part time work in the secondary nygoodhealth.com sector is virtually impossible. They just aren’t advertised. There are part time positions advertised in colleges etc… and I will probably apply for these but that’s nearly a 20 grand pay cut before you even take into consideration pro rata.
There are part time positions within teacher training colleges, a job I’d actually love, but they often aren’t term time. We only have term time childcare, meaning we’d have to fund 3 kids in holiday childcare with a 20 grand pay cut and then it begs the question: is part time non term time better than full time term time? *sigh, all the decisions are making my head hurt*.
Or I just return to the stressful, busy life of being full time but at least in a job I know and enjoy. But then the panic of missing the kids grow up and never dropping off/ picking up Pip of having any involvement in her school life will be too hard, I think.
I guess time will reveal itself and decisions will have to be made eventually. Until then, I’ll continue with the ordinary, everyday and relish in the still quiet moments of the mundane and enjoying the relaxed babyhood moments.